To be kind or unkind that is the question

Any person that works with the public knows that you see a ginormous verity of people. And they also know, every individual is different along with their personality to accompany them. To my luck (which isn’t very good most of the time.) I scoured a job as a waitress. Now I don’t think the public truly knows how much effort is required to simply serve people a meal. It sounds basic, non-complex, and almost easy. But I can testify it is none of those characteristics. Sure to anyone that has never had experience it, it appears to be the farthest thing from challenging. And I know as a kid and just until a few years ago I had that same perception.

You can never really truly understand someone unless you take a walk around in their shoes for a day. It’s easy to mistreat others because you aren’t certain of their own circumstances. We all have choices to make everyday from microscopic ones to life changing decisions. So let me be blunt “Why do some people think it is not a problem to treat other fellow human beings like gum stuck to the sole of their shoe?” I’ve never grasped that fact, that some people believe being hurtful, rude, and inconsiderate toward their fellow man. Now yes I do realize everyone has a bad day here and there. I have them, you have them, and so does that old lady living down the street. But for pete sakes how hard is it to be kind?!

I previously mentioned that I am a waitress and I personally have been mistreated and not appreciated by multiple people. I stand on my feet for five or more depending hours, I run back and forth trying to please my table to my best ability, I smile through my raging emotions no matter what they may be, and I carry heavy obnoxious trays plastered and plied with food. All to be treated like complete dirt. I’m not saying this to complain, but it’s extremely difficult when you as an innocent individual are trying your best only to be treated like your giving your worst.

I’ve seen it outside of my job as well. Some people are very unkind and my heart aches for them because they were probably treated poorly and as an upsetting result they turned miserable and bitter. My explanation is very simple, “Always be kind so other people will be kind too.” kindness is contagious and mostly anyone can admit it’s not an easy task to deny reciprocating kindness when you yourself have received it. I personally have felt happier in my life when there have been instances where I could’ve easy been a jerk but decided to take the high road instead and radiate true kindness. For example the look of relief in a persons eyes when you decide to be kind instead of unkind is wonderful.  I’m not sure if everyone I’ve been kind to has appreciated or even acknowledged it. But honestly what do you have to lose by being kind? And hopefully when you are kind, others will aspire to gain the same precious trait.

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Christ is the key choose him.

“Your personal testimony of light and truth will not only bless you and your posterity here in mortality, but it will also accompany you throughout all eternity.”-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

*Side note this is one of my more religious blogs*

Throughout my life I’ve seen and experienced with my own eyes the light of Christ shinning so brightly in people. Whether they are a passing stranger smiling on the street or my very best friends and family. I have felt many different peoples spirits and seen their “Christ-like” attributes help strengthen others. Being proudly LDS I love hearing and receiving knowledge from others testimonies in Jesus Christ, the gospel and essentially how by knowing that Jesus Christ lives, loves, and atoned for all of the sins of the world. They are abundantly blessed in all aspects of their own personal lives.

None of us have lived the same exact life. While yes, our experiences may be similar they are not the same. Your own personal testimony is unique and powerful just like your story. No one can take it away from you, but yourself. Which is why it is so crucial to keep it close to your heart and actively keep it apart of your life. This week at girls camp I had the opportunity to listen as my fellow sisters in my ward shared their testimonies and reasoning in why they believe in God. It was a remarkable and beautiful time to see the girls I accompany school and church with truly open up and let one another see a part of their soul.

The tears spilled from my blue eyes as we all spoke about our story and the powerful, encouraging truths about the gospel. It was intriguing to hear that we all on some extant are facing the same hardships and we were all too blind to realize it. It’s easy to forget that everyone is fighting some sort of battle especially when life gets busy.  I could truly feel my savior’s love that night. As I stood up to bare my testimony I felt the spirit the strongest I have in a long time. It seemed to completely over take me and the feeling was so amazing there isn’t enough words to describe it. It was almost as if my Heavenly Father was holding my hand the whole time leading and guiding my words from my heart to my mouth. I cried buckets as I testified that I love my Heavenly Father, and that I felt strongly that it was because of him I found peace after many trailing months of feeling neglected of happiness. I testified in forgiveness, the gift of friendship and that both needed major TLC from my part.

As I looked around almost everyone had tears streaming down their cheeks, I’m not sure if they completely understood but I felt that they could oddly relate in some way or another. God is love and he wants us to share that eternal love through one another. I don’t know my direct path or journey I’m supposed to take in this life. But I know for certain it will include Jesus Christ. Someday I will return home and reside in his presence and knowing that makes all the difference. I believe as I have come to learn about others testimonies mine positively has strengthened and grown.

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“That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” D&C 50: 24

Friends.

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“God does notice us, and watches over us but it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.” – President Spencer W. Kimball

The way you meet people (specifically those you encounter with frequently) can sometimes be completely out of the ordinary. They seem to stumble onto your path when you’re least expecting it. Throughout my life I’ve met some pretty amazing and wonderful people through ways I would have never imagined meeting them. I am very blessed and thankful for meeting the majority of people I know in my life. Because they all of taught, strengthened, and bettered my life in some way or another.

Over this past week I had the life changing opportunity to make a new friend. Typically meeting new people scares me because I so badly want to make a great first impression and have them connect with me. I don’t handle awkward situations very well. So I feel a huge amount of pressure when I have to meet people.

To my luck I met someone who, immediately could relate to me right off. It was almost as if she had already decided she was going to accept me before we even officially met.

The girl in the picture on the left is Rosabla and she is one of my favorite people. Let me share with you some things I learned about her this week. She’s funny and making those around her shine with happiness is what I feel she is most good at. Her laugh is contagious and anyone that hears it has to join in (Including me). She loves to leaned a helping hand and if she sees you struggling with something you can bet she will come running to see if she can help you out in any way. She is drop dead gorgeous (even though she doesn’t think so) and is truly beautiful inside and out. Her stunning exterior doesn’t even come close to her dazzling personality and spirit. She is optimistic and looks at life with a positive attitude. She’s one to see the glass half full instead of half empty. (The world needs more people like that). She is soft at heart and has a motherly nature about her. She generally cares for people along with their well being, and shows everyone she comes in contact with kindness. Overall words can’t even describe how amazing of a person she is.

I met Rosabla earlier this week because she is a cousin to my best friend. We’ve talked on social media previously but as far as meeting in person that was a first. She is visiting Idaho for the summer before she has to go back home to Arizona in the fall for school. I am so thankful we all get to spend the WHOLE summer together and create new memories. I am grateful we’re already so close. I can tell summer is starting off to a great start and I am anxious to see what it has in store. I can hardly wait to show Rosabla what Idaho is like. She has already changed my life and the joy she has given me in this last week is something I’ve been needing. I hope I can repay her for her wonderful gift of friendship.

Goodbye sophomore year.

Difficulties allow us to change for the better.” Thomas s. Monson

With the end of my sophomore year ending I thought I would write my younger self a letter with the knowledge and philosophy I have today that I wish I desperately would’ve had when the school year started.

Dear Sidney beginning sophomore year, 

High school isn’t what you think it will be. It’s everything and nothing all at the same time. You’ll keep your old friends but find yourself losing touch with them when other people form an important role in your daily life. The reason? Everyone is trying to figure out who they want to be including you, and everyone seems to re-adjust their relationships. Don’t feel upset when this happens it’s perfectly normal, people are trying to surrounded themselves with different people that they want to be like. And you will find out people aren’t always the way you think they are whether that is positive or negative. Everyday is a new adventure no day is the same as the last, you’ll have your hard days where waking up is a struggle and forcing yourself to smile hurts, but you will also have your easy days where you won’t be able to stop laughing and you feel like you could fly.

You will learn that Biology makes no sense no matter how many countless times the teacher tries to explain it and math will confuse you with all of the different variables and steps. But you will also find out band class is truly one of your passions, and it’s one of the many classes you actually love attending. You will grow as a musician and finally take pride in your instrument after all these years of worrying about your reputation behind it.

You will encounter your first heartbreak and wonder why you spent so much time investing your heart into a boy that ended up shattering it anyway. But months will pass and you will glue the pieces of your heart back together. It won’t be easy and you will cry off many coats of mascara in the process of healing. In time you will give your heart to a different boy who truthfully loves you and makes you believe it. He will make you smile so bright it’s blinding and you will question why you were ever sad in the first place. You will pray daily and thank God for blessing you with him. Because you love him with all of your heart.

You will understand that hardships make you stronger, no warrior is ever strong without fighting battles Including you. You will find happiness after desperately seeking it and you will find out life is a pretty beautiful thing. You will go to your first prom and make a million memories and the image of your gorgeous red dress will always be kept safe in your mind along with your boyfriends face the first time he saw you wearing it. Your relationship with God will gradually become closer and you will never doubt your faith in him. Don’t doubt your potential or compare yourself to others. Believe that you are beautiful inside and out no matter what the circumstances. Because at the end of the day how you view yourself is most important. Quit worrying about what other people think, truth is they really don’t care as much as you think they do. Everyone is really only worried about themselves and their own lives so it won’t matter much what you do as long as you’re happy.

Though there will be hard times the good times are worth enduring the challenges to get to them. You will be thankful you didn’t give up even though there were times you really wanted to. Sophomore year is an adventure there are ups, downs, twists, and turns but in the end it will all pay off for something pretty amazing. And most importantly just relax because it’s only your first year of high school you still have two more to add to your greatness and become exactly the person you want to be.”- Sidney from the future.

Mom

*Side note this is one of my more personal blogs (Don’t read unless you truly care)*

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“I believe in love at first sight, because I loved my mom since I opened my eyes.”-unknown.

Being a sixteen year old girl is hard trust me, and if you are one reading this you know that to be true very true. But let me tell you something it’s even harder when you don’t have an active mom in your life on a daily basis. I love my mom she’s the one that gave me life and brought me into this beautiful mess of a planet. She is a very strong woman and has been through a lot of really hard challenges throughout her life. Missing her is a battle I fight most of the time.

Now don’t get me wrong I have a lot of other amazing, strong, beautiful, and kind women that act as motherly figures to me since my mom lives in Wisconsin. (And for any of them reading this thank you for everything my gratefulness for each and everyone of you runs deep in my heart and forever will.) Let me give you a little background about my mom and answer some questions you might have (Because I’m sure a lot of you are confused reading this).

When I was around ten and eleven years old my parents got a divorce. I was sad to say the very least I thought we would always be a happy family my little girl logic was wrong so very wrong. At the time I suppose it was the right thing to have happen given our situation ( I won’t explain because it is too personal). And as the years slipped by I still believe it was for the best even though when it first happened that was my last thought. Anyways my mom didn’t take the divorce too well it hit her like a million trains all at once it completely wrecked her for a very long time. The reason being my parents were married for almost twenty years. It changed my mom in ways that I would say weren’t for the better. Not to mention her mom (my grandma) died a few years later.

She went through a lot (our family did actually). I missed her smile and the sparkle in her eyes it just seemed to vanish slowly. The woman I once knew was gone. Fast forward time to my freshman year my mom met a man in Wisconsin and decided to pack up her bags and move there with him. I was happy for her I wanted her to be happy and I forever will because my love for her will always run deep. I was happy for her finding love again. But this doesn’t mean I don’t miss her I have my bad days and looking at old pictures will make my heart bleed and my eyes weep. She will forever be my “mama” Looking back now that I am older and more mature with time I realize if she is happy that means the very most to me. I talk to her on the phone and skype, she is finally starting to sound like her old self. And that is beautiful to me.

So to all my readers who have active mothers, Please Please Please never let a day pass without telling her how much you love her. Even if she grounds you, provokes your anger, or simply makes you feel you want to scream at the top of you lungs at her. Please don’t let her ever forget your love for her. She brought you to this world, she gave you the greatest gift of being able to fill your lungs with oxygen and to live the crazy adventure of life. Because life is a pretty beautiful thing when you step back and look at it. (Y’all should try it sometime instead of focusing your attention on the negative). Don’t ever pass up a chance to spend time with her or talk to her when you have a free moment. Because the bitter sweet truth is someday she won’t be there to simply call and say hi. Time flies by please don’t waste it by treating your mother poorly.

I know my Heavenly Father watches over my mom everyday and has given her a miraculous amount of strength to overcome the things she has in her life. As well as helping me to learn and cope without her daily role in my life. His love and endless comfort are always available not just for me but for everyone. He has pulled me through everything difficult I have ever had to endure in my life. My love for my Heavenly Father will forever be as constant and bright as the sun that rises in the sky each and everyday. 

 

A dream come true.

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to go to my first prom with my adorable, sweet, kind, amazing, and handsome beyond compare boyfriend Carson. Prom is something I have been waiting practically my whole life for. I remember dreaming of being in highschool and attending prom with my boyfriend and whenever I would play pretend with my barbies it seemed the story line was always centered around that specific plot. I couldn’t wait for the day when I would be wearing a beautiful dress, hair and makeup perfectly done and swaying back in forth in my boyfriends arms. It seemed to be one of those things every little girl dreams about (well at least I did).

And thanks to Carson I finally got to live out my lifelong dream. The way he asked me to prom was beyond adorable. He showed up at my house on a Sunday evening with a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilys (My favorite flowers). There was a red note attached to the flowers it read “Will you be my princess at prom?-Carson” I honestly felt like a princess by him just simply asking me because that’s how amazing he is. My face was a thousand shades of red and I couldn’t stop smiling for days! And everyday that passed only added to my growing excitement for the big day.

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Prom was held May 5, 2018 (a.k.a Cinco De mayo & a day I will never forget). It was truly the best day of my life next to the day I met Carson of course. The morning of the magical day I woke up with a smile already plastered on my cheeks. Everything about the day seemed more beautiful the grass was greener, the sun was out warmer and brighter than ever, and the sky was so very blue. Carson’s kind hearted mother offered to take me to get pedicures the morning of prom with her. It was so much fun (I had never had my nails professionally done before this day). And I can now see why so many girls love it. We had our feet massaged, painted, filed, and scrubbed. It was the best! My toes have never looked better! Plus it was amazing to talk to his mom who I love so much.

After the wonderful morning of already being treated like royalty me and Carson headed back to his house. We cuddled on his couch together for a while until our furocious appetites begged us to fill their request for food. We decided to purchase Subway sandwiches for lunch (which tasted wonderful). After our lunch break we went and hiked “Crees Creek” a hiking trail right by the famous Snake River. It was so beautiful to be surrounded by nature and the most incredible boy ever. We had a great time talking and laughing. The hike for me was so much fun but a little challenging (Because I am so out of shape). The trail we climbed was all uphill and was pretty steep for the most part. But I loved it regardless. I always enjoy spending time with Carson and being out in nature was very refreshing because I’ve been stuck inside all winter. Hiking down was even more of a challenge because we both weren’t wearing proper hiking shoes and kept falling on our butts. (I guess you could say we really FELL for each other).

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After our adventures afternoon of hiking we made our way back home to get ready for the big night. I spent the next hour applying my makeup and making sure it looked absolutely perfect. Along with re-curling my hair and making sure each curl was flawless. Then my grandma helped me tie up the back of my stunning red dress. I truly felt like a princess in that moment when I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection.

Carson came to pick me up and we spent the next few minutes taking your classic prom pictures. They turned out amazing and you could tell how happy we both were from them. We then made our way back into town because Carson had made dinner reservations. At a small restaurant  “The Hickory” which is popular in our small town.

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Of course the food was delicious and our waitress was very nice. We both ordered steak. And for dessert we had this brownie sundae with chocolate sauce, vanilla ice cream, and whipped cream. It tasted like absolute heaven!

The dance ended up being perfect just like I had imagined. Me and Carson talked to a lot of our friends and had a few good laughs with them. The music was pretty good for the most part and we had a lot of fun dancing to the songs that were played. When the end of the night came, Carson took me home and it was the perfect day. I honestly am so thankful to be given the opportunity to spend my first prom with such a special guy. He one of the biggest blessings in my life and I am grateful everyday and forever for him and that I’m his girlfriend. He has changed my life drastically for the better and is one of the main sources of my happiness.

 

 

Thankful.

“The spirit of gratitude brings true joy and great happiness.”-Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf  

I’m not going to lie, I love my life truthfully. I have had a lot of amazing days while being here on this planet for sixteen years. But I also have had times were life knocks me down and I wonder if it’s worth the fight to get back up. On one of my previous blogs I wrote about my feelings on forgiveness, and explained how much of a trail the first three months of my 2018 were for me. But looking back now I am surprisingly thankful for enduring the hardships that were placed in front of me to face. I gained so much personal growth from those challenges that occurred in my life a few months ago and believe I am a stronger person today because of it.

Now that doesn’t mean I love when bad things happen to me, but I LOVE the lessons you learn from the hard times. Looking back a year ago yes, my life is drastically different in many ways. But I am thankful for everything that I have right now in my life. For months I have been seeking happiness like a crazed soccer mom seeking for coupons (No offence). I tried looking for it everywhere in the tiniest ways and things. It didn’t happen overnight and it was definitely something I had to work for.

I wanted to love my life again and everything in it. Genuine happiness with life was my main goal for the longest time. And something pretty amazing happened to me the other day. I had the thought that “Yes this is how I’m supposed to feel again.” I can now say I do feel genuine happiness with my life. Breathing for me isn’t just surviving it has meaning again. (and that’s a pretty beautiful thought)

Being LDS I feel there are no words that I can say or write to express my gratitude and love for my heavenly father. But I know that he is proud of me, I know he was by my side the whole time. And I know that it is through him I made my way through the storm. I am beyond thankful for his eternal love for each and everyone of us and know with him by my side all things are possible. There is not enough room in my heart to store all of the gratitude I have for everything he has given me in my life.

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